just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
