How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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