"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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