PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
