My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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