White coat. Heels.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
