Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize