You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
