He is an equal opportunity slut.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
