I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
