Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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