Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
