Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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