# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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