ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Boobs are out for the taking
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i now understand why vodka
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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