He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
