Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
