she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
