I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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