I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
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He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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