Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
