I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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