"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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