do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
