Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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