After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
