So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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