I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
