I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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