you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
