No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize