carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
