I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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