And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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