I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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