I think I am morally bankrupt
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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