You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
