You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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