im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
