he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
