and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
