I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
