Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Congratulations! We have a period
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
