her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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