He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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