He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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