My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
