I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
