We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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