u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
