hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
