I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
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