In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
