dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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