I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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