finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
