"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
